Dear Diary...

There are many - if not most - who keep a diary of forward appointments and there are some - far fewer - who keep a diary record of past events:

"Dear Diary, today we left the trenches for the LBP - last big push, or as Evans would call it 'latest bloody punch-up'. That I'm writing this now, Mam, shows at least I made it back alive, though poor Evans was blown apart by a Bosch shell in NML - what we all call 'no man living.' Funny, we were told that all of their artillery would have been wiped out by the weeks of our bombardment, but obviously the message didn't get through to the enemy, who opened up the minute we went over the top."

That sort of thing. Apposite to the day.

A wise management thinker - and there are some - once said that a forward diary should not be a record of other people's demands, but of one's own desires. Think about it. How many days are blocked with meetings arranged by and for someone else? There are few enough days or slots within days where one pencils in time to do something of personal choice.

Tomorrow though I have one such appointment: made by me for me. Though in truth it is hardly the most welcome of moments. Do not mistake me, I do rather enjoy time spent with dear Anna chatting about life, liberty and the pursuit of government targets ['All targets create sub-optimal behaviour' being our common take on the matter']. If only we could skip the part where she introduces either 'NED' or 'ED' into the meeting my time would be an entire treat.

As yet, these past five years, dear Anna has stuck with NED to my complete relief and satisfaction, though were she ever to revert to ED I would know it's essentially 'Good Night Vienna.'

Are you puzzled? Probably. Am I slightly toying with you and the thing? Most likely. If you are 'on the bus' of cancer you will already have fathomed my meaning - knowing also that once 'on' you can never finally get 'off', there being no final END - but if not then let me reveal that 'NED' is our beloved 'No Evidence of Disease' [the rest you can work out for yourselves].

Notice the precise use of terms: NED means as much and as little as exactly that. There is no evidence that the disease is present, but then there is no proving that it isn't. At best - and it is a good best - they are saying there's nothing they can see. At a cellular level it might well be there, just biding its time before revealing its fell and lethal face, and like the terrorist you can hear it whisper 'You need to be lucky every time, we just need to be lucky once.'

So, dear diary, who's my appointment with tomorrow - Ned or Ed? Wish I knew.