Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Too Much Of A Good Thing...

...two things one learnt yesterday. Item the first - no malignancy observed in second wider excision. Hurrah! Item the second - the physical trauma of the second excision will take up to two years to heal, involving a predicted crescendo of pain both acute and chronic from months three to six. ('Boo! Boo!' as dear Danny Baker would yelp.)

Now call me Mr Picky, but as I already have lived - and do live - for the past ten years with enduring chronic and occasional acute pain from previous and necessary single excision of an earlier cancer, I am none too thrilled with the prospect of a double-dose of same for the, or indeed any, duration.

The less am I thrilled in pondering now that the second recent excision was utterly a 'just in case' procedure. The first, unavoidable, surgery had - as everyone and every textbook correctly forecast - removed the thing entire and entirely. This second pass of the knife does come highly recommended - it is standard procedure, has all the stats and the data to make its case - but it has proven pointless other than to promise me further serious jip.

Should I have said no? Should I have thrown medical caution and wisdom to the wind, taking my chances with just the first, unpleasant but bearable, wounding?

The questioning is perhaps as pointless as the procedure. The thing is done and cannot be undone. But as I lay awake at night unable to sleep in any recognisably human manner - because if I lie so as to ease the pain of one scar the other utters loud squeals of protest and vice versa - it is a compelling thought.

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