Rant On Bro....

Not perhaps the most pertinent of remarks for Holy Week, but this just in from Bro. George: more rant on the inanities of 'customer support' failures.

Geo. had recently set up a new Business Account with his esteemed bankers - no doubt some cunning tax wheeze, but best not dwell - and had been sent not merely written details on accessing info on-line, but also a cunning little code box machine to fool the phishers. (Easily confused with a car key fob if you ask me.)

Not needing to activate said account for a spell - perhaps no tax to dodge! - Geo. had not bothered so to do. (Customer choice!)

His silence was met with a pained e-mail or two from said esteemed Bank urging him to activate his account. These he ignored on the same customer choice principle that this was not something he needed right now. As and when he did he would. That sort of thing.

Thence came a third missive announcing out of the blue that as he hadn't complied with the activation request [command] he was to be de-activated forthwith! Harsh punishment indeed, though one could see where the Bank might be coming from on this. Just about, if being generous.

So a phone call was made to 'customer services' just to check the state of play. Customer services were all too happy to urge him not to panic (a thought far removed) and simply to activate as and when he felt the need. Nothing else changed? No, came the reply.

Well today, finally, the Bro. did decide the time was right, so armed with all reference numbers, account info, activation codes, plus fond memory of his dear departed Mother's maiden name, he sought to have a go.

No go, said the machine. Activation code now no longer active, as it were. Fair enough maybe, but not what he had been told.

Website info in such circs. was to telephone a number (more 'customer services') for guidance on how to proceed.

First word from customer services was not to ask it for guidance as guidance was not theirs to give, but reference back to same website to a sub-menu within another sub-menu.

Right ho. Thence to a form to be completed and faxed back. "Don't do faxes," Geo. informed them. "Fax was all right for The Ark and Noah plus assembled crew and passengers, but not for the sort of modern thrusting business that I run." (Deluded boy! But again customer choice.)

The not-doing-faxes remark was not well received by customer services. Plainly persons not doing faxes were not persons that they held in high regard, being clearly rank deviants.

The usual punishment for not doing something required of the system is to be 'put on hold'; meaning anything from ten minutes silence followed by an answer, to ten minutes silence and then being cut-off without an answer.

Lucky to receive only the former for so grave a misdemeanour, Geo. was finally asked if he had received his activation code by e-mail. Well yes he had. In which case a further code would be similarly dispatched within the hour. (Clock is running on this.)

Not particularly seismic in the scheme of things - very much in the 'Small Earthquake in Chile' quartile, but irksome enough for Geo to rant to me.

Deep breath Geo!