"Vanity, all is vanity saith the preacher" ...somewhere in Ecclesiastes I think you'll find. True enough by and large, though speaking as one preacher to another it's a bit rich for a public proponent of all that is righteous to be banging on about the vanity of others.
A certain vanity - it must be owned tonight - has been the cause of a recent very downfall of this particular preacher fellow. Nothing scandalous or lurid I must haste to add - just pride in personal appearance leading to something rather humbling.
Has been the habit for more than twenty years to be a DIY barber: ever since the hairline began receding as the tide, one has merely used self-administered clippers to trim the thatch as so much indoor lawnmowing.
On a whim - no more - one decided [See previous] to permit the professional blade to skim across the scalp the other weekend.
There was a time one would have paid top dollar for a Sex God cut, but these days all one would and did ask for was something vaguely stylish. Sadly though even that proved to be beyond the reach of the salon. That being my judgement anyways - having shelled out half a week's stipend one was less than impressed by the lop-sided outcome.
Returning home - howsoever much impressed by one's encounter with the charming Miss A [American Beauty] - the troubled, vain self at once reached for the customary clippers to rectify the failings.
In principle a sound thing, but in practice a disaster. Being somewhat irate at having spent so much for so little I failed - a bad, bad failing - to check that the clipper guard was securely fixed. Off then suddenly it pinged just as I was mowing the back end.
The wretched outcome was a naked graze from neck to crown. Wondrously amusing to any third party, but deeply, deeply wounding for oneself.
No option was then open other than to shave the rest of the skull in a 'demi-Britney', hoping thereby to hide the bare scalp yet still having to wear a hat for the duration until sufficient hair had regrown to cover the gaping gap.
A 'bad hair day' most certainly, but one awfully helpful in quelling any preacherly vanity.
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