Deep Cover....

....I have worked it all out! This Labour Party funding mess that is. That is, it is a mess and I have worked out why it is a mess. Rather clever really.

This Mr. Abrahams, do we not hear him everywhere called 'a lifelong Labour supporter'? Why yes we do. And do we believe what we are told? Why, again, yes we docile souls tend to of course.

But - this is so cunning - of course he is not and never has been. How indeed could a true supporter, who wants nothing but good for Labour, have acted in this way? In truth he could not.

And the truth of it is that he did not! For - and this is the clever part I have worked out - he has all along been a Conservative, recruited many years ago to go into 'deep cover' - like all the best spooks - living the life of a Labour man to the hilt, but just waiting for that one order to come through, when the time was most ripe, to unleash himself in a way that would do the most harm.

The time came and the way was clear: Gordo was morphing - in that glorious phrase - from Stalin to Mr. Bean. All it needed was one more push and so here it is: Abrahams comes out from under deep cover and Labour teeters to the very edge of self-destruction.

I imagine the original plan had been to use him during the Blair years, but when it became clear that Blair and his ways were so totally corrupted yet invincible that no other scandal could touch him, Abrahams was kept for better times.

It is a marvellous wheeze and hats off to the Cameron boys for their tactical nous. Timing is perfect. (There must be a list somewhere of other such names. Dave alone knows. That would be an interesting dinner discussion chez Dave!)

And if you doubt me - though you could not deny the plausibility - I can offer proof. How so you reasonable enquire? Well it is this. Apart from being a Labour man, how else is Mr Abrahams described?

As - the quote I believe from the Mail - "a confirmed bachelor with a taste for musical theatre.' Now you tell me what that is code for.

Obvious. 'High Tory' of course!

QED.