On Being Maurice

I have just proposed to Maurice and he has said 'yes'!

But before you go imagining newspaper headlines 'Gay clergyman weds his verger' I must haste to point out that my role has been simply and exclusively to act as a proxy go-between for divorcee of this parish Mildred, who via H the Beloved, requested of me that I should ask M whether he would or would not take M as his lawful etc.

All very trying in the preparation, but actually quite simple in the execution. Maurice's reputation and image of a ladies' man is both renowned and well-deserved. Far be it from me to reveal any quasi-confessional secrets or associated gossip, but if there is a household in the village that has not at some time, in some way, been caught up in an M intrigue I've yet to be offered tea there within.

Thus it was with complete disregard for any hope in the matter that M might be interested in surrendering his wayward ways to take up domestic fidelity with the other M in question that I began the interview with the man. (Whether M [latter] is persuaded that her task in life is to show M [the former] the errors of his past ways and to return him to the right royal road, is entirely her business and going concern. One gathers though that this is not an entirely uncommon female take on the rogue male.)

M [former once more] proved, however, to be the open door at which barely a push was required. In terms hardly romantic - if reasonable and true - when asked if he might just happen to be wondering if possibly he could be interested in a match with M [latter] simply replied "Why, yes indeed. I'm rather tired of having other men's wives. I rather fancy one of my own."

If on this basis the pair of them can make a go of it then bravo say I. What though wondrously strikes me about the whole matter is that, as M and M [now both former and latter] are to become husband and wife, then it would be clear impossible for them to be combatants in the Feud [see previous] and that their juncture will be the ending of the thing altogether for thence the two families will be one.