Happy Eid or Merry Christmas...

...the heavy veil of migraine maximus having lifted it seemed sensible to resume normal duties ASAP - church jankers ack emma, then on to Tesco for the week's shopping. Perhaps I should be more principled and avoid secular tasks on the Sabbath. (Bishop Tom has no strong views on the subject of course, which all the more makes me wish I had.)

Had I been more rigorous in my observance I would have avoided a severe jolt to my temper as well as my values. The battle has long been lost for Christmas goods to be reserved for sale in December or even late November. No sooner are the summer tans returned from Crete or from Corfu than gaudy crackers appear on the shelves. The wonderful season of autumn has been almost totally lost in the plunge from sun cream to brandy butter.

So much one has endured and accepted, but, no, I will not enter any premises in the third week of October to be greeted by a ten by six sign wishing me 'Merry Christmas'. Little have I any desire to exchange festal greetings with a corporate conglomerate at any time, but certainly not months before its rightful time.

That Helen was not there to witness my ensuing public protest was perhaps a blessing. Likely all she would have contributed would have been an admonition not to be such a Holy Pooter. (Thank you for that dear one!)

I marched up to a managerial minion and greeted him loudly 'Happy Eid dear fellow!' His blank stare - the kind that says 'Call security, we've a right nutter here' - was sufficient to confirm what I had suspected: he would not know that this most significant of Muslim feasts is due over the horizon early next week.

'Oh sorry,' I continue with laboured irony. 'How premature of me. Eid is not until Tuesday. Why don't I wish you Merry Christmas instead? After all that's nearly upon us, can't be more than ten weeks away.'

It was, I think, the added Santa-esque 'Ho, ho, ho' that tipped the balance from 'The customer is always right' to 'This customer is right off his shopping trolley'. Be that as it may, security were rather sweet as they escorted me from the building - even helped load my shopping into the car.

Tesco's is to be boycotted until at least the New Year.

And so to Evensong.