On The First Day..

...E wrought havoc!

Not how Genesis should begin, but Day One of the Archdeacon's visit culminated in chaos not creation and largely thanks to - one suspects with due malice aforethought - darling E, who is now grounded for a month!

I should have realised something was up - if not rather right down - when she offered to play one of her DVDs to the Archdeacon following our deliberately frugal supper. Even that repast had not passed without incident, as FDH intoned that 'Fish on Friday is largely a papist custom' and not one he would wish to see much encouraged among good Xtian folk. 'Plain vegetables', he offered, would have been sufficient for his mild and minimal stomach.

Perhaps it was that very remark gave E her fatal clue, for the DVD she chose just - oh so unhappily - happened to be that one from the third series of dear Blackadder where the puritan relatives pitch up for supper and are served a raw, rude turnip before being caught up in the alternative entertainment of the night - a right royal piss up!

The Archdeacon had nearly declined the watching of television as being altogether too frivolous for his tastes and disposition, but clearly wanting to ingratiate himself with our 'darling child' (mad fool! - when was a teenager ever a child let alone a darling of that species?!) had agreed to be thus entertained before Compline.

Helen's initial hard stare at E seemed to me somewhat that of the cynic, though her then strangled yelp when she saw what E had chosen from our little library of shows did scare me as to what was to come - and not without reason. The trouble is, and was, Blackadder is so irresistibly, screamingly funny (well not to the FDH of course) and although we all knew we would regret hollering with our usual laughter we simply couldn't stop.

Throughout it all the Archdeacon sat in total stony silence. Not one peep of laughter, not a hint of a giggle, not even a 'Yes I know it's aimed at me but I can take it' smile. When it was done he simply - with some grace it must be owned - reached for his BoCP and began reciting Compline in a firm, no nonsense manner.

I think we all felt a bit like foolish children then, which soured the mood utterly. FDH - 1 : Palladas family - 0.

And so to bed - well the Archdeacon anyway. H has given him the small back bedroom with a good view and a firm mattress. We must hope he sleeps well and wakes in a mood of relaxed Xtian charity. I shall divert to the study for a large whisky just in case he doesn't! H spoke sharply to E about the potentially dire consequences of her reckless teasing then, of course, left it to me to administer condine punishment of the month's grounding, thus making me the father from hell naturally. Two whiskies I think are required at this point!