Helen here.

Just back from lunch with Mildred to discuss the FDH situation. Little solid progress to report, though always good to chew the bone with M and compare parish notes with a sympathetic mind. Our main line of understanding at present - from a variety of usually dependable sources - is that Old Tom is thinking of asking for a 'position paper' from FDH on the whole matter of the Church and Mammon.

If true this is a wondrous sign of vacillation and delay on Tom's part - a perfect 'do much, do little' approach he so favours. (Much like the old Duke of D who would always listen solemnly to any new proposal, weigh up wisely the pros and the cons and then unswervingly reply "Much better not.") It should take the FDH at least six months if not six years to do justice to such a broad and important topic - long enough indeed to ensure sound defence of the quo est status.

Our source - code name as ever 'Tudor' - over at the seminary has not been able to turn up a deal of gossip or innuendo about the enemy, save mention that a great-grandfather was once cashiered from the Guards for bouncing a cheque. Seemingly a small matter perhaps unto the third generation, though one must not rule out the possibility that resentment of anything or anyone monied might have flowed down the family gene pool to pop up festering in the soul of FDH. (Will mention the subject of bad cheques when next we meet - in a general, in passing way of course - and see if he yelps.)

Mildred did suggest we might consider a pre-emptive MRW offensive and attempt to lure the Archdeacon away from his strict view on life by employing the persuasively deadly charms we ladies all inherit from our mother Eve. A nice thought to take with the good dessert on offer at Bury's - apple and raisin pie - but methinks an MRW strike might just hit a dud here. (I'm so sorry, have I not clarified MRW? Why, 'Monstrous Regiment - or 'Regimen' to use John Knox's original line - of Women' of course. If we cannot yet be priests and officially take charge, we will not resist our sacred duty of undermining all that the men do simply because we can as women.)

Not that I have assumed the FDH to be unseducable - in a purely non-carnal sense you understand of course - nor that he is one of those rare gay men who actually don't like women. Rather I feel that this is an enemy who is capable of using that most awful combination of weaponry - logic, the Gospel and an unassailable sense of personal piety - and in the face of such an onslaught a few ginger slices and a warm smile or two from Tom's niece will not cut the mustard.

I said as much to Mildred and worryingly she agreed with me. She too it seems somehow thinks this FDH creature is a singular and potent force for unease and turbulence. Worrying times indeed if Mildred is thrown off stride. Why, when dear Arthur left her for that floosy in the bookshop you would not have known a thing was the matter if you had not known, as it were. Perfect demeanour throughout the divorce and never once late for flower patrol in Church.

There was a story going the rounds for a while that her young gardener was instrumental in helping her through the worst of the grief, but if so then jolly good luck to her I say. (Doubt dear PP would agree with that last sentiment, but then he does have an Official Line to follow and that can so hinder generous charity I find.)

More on FDH as it unfolds.